Despite my love of sleep, it evaded me Monday (7/18/16) night and I found myself slinking out of bed around 1:30 am to go be miserable in the basement (aka, surf the web on my phone).
This pregnancy really hasn't been symptomatic (no morning sickness), but I've had persistent fatigue and... gas. Yup, gas bubbles were waging war on my tummy that night and there was no end in sight. I decided it'd be a good idea to listen to the song I'd been obsessed with since I learned of Pia's existence: Wrap Me In Your Arms (Lisa Gungor's version)...
Of course, I broke out in tears. Emotions all over the place. God let me nurture this baby, but her spirit rests with him. It's 2 am and I'm upset and in awe of God...
Then I start thinking about her name (of course, I have no medical confirmation that she's a girl. I just KNOW). From the instant I saw the smile on Babe's face, I knew I'd get to name this baby. I'd decided she should be named in honor of my grandmother. My granny raised me and I love her dearly (she passed in 2003), however, there was no way I was naming a baby girl "Phyllis" (no offense if your name is Phyllis - it just seems like a very mature name for a baby, IMHO). Instead, I decided she should have the same initials - P.L.S.
As I laid there crying, I went to go refresh my memory on the meaning of the name Pia...
Basically, a feminine derivative of the word "pious"...
Looking at the first and fifth definitions just tugged at my heart strings. Of course, I couldn't stop at Pia - I had to look up Leilani...
Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Feel free to think me a nutter (I kinda am), but "child of heaven". Really, Lord? How much clearer could you make this? It's 3am... I'm tired and frustrated and here God is connecting my dots, telling me that this has been His plan from the beginning - He wrote her name on my heart, but He'd always intended for her to be in His arms - a child of heaven.
Needless to say, I didn't drift off until 4am. Tuesday was rough, but I definitely felt like something had shifted in my brain. It's just taking a while for my heart to get on board.
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